LEWINSKY VIRUS
sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS
quits after one byte

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
your 300mb hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100mb and then slowly expands to 200mb.

DR. JACK KEVORKAIN VIRUS
deletes all old files.

TITANIC VIRUS
your whole computer goes down.

DISNEY VIRUS
everything in your computer goes goofy

PROZAC VIRUS
screws up your ram, but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUCCO VIRUS
only attacks minor files

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
terminates some files, leaves, but it'll be back.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
turns your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy.

VIAGRA VIRUS
turns your 3.5 inch floppy into a hard drive